MP: "I better knock on wood." *knocks on desk*

Myself: "That isn't wood. It's particle board."

MP: "I'll just knock on your chair!"

Myself: "That also isn't real wood."

MP: "Well, I will just knock on my head."

Big Bossman: "Not wood either. Wood swells and contracts."

MP: "Nuh uh, that's particle board! Wood doesn't swell!!!."

Myself:"yeah. yeah it does."