Sign Language

MP during a phone conversation.
"Everybody has a good time with me.  I mean unless they are deaf and blind.  Even then I bet I could sign something to get them laughing."

Lord.

Dear whichever cook put the pube in MoonPig's omelet,

Way to go buddy.  You ruined her entire day, and made my Monday much more enjoyable.

xoxo,

Weird Office Girl

Friday

while she is eating cookies...

MP: You know what they say, a cookie a day...

Me: makes you fat?

Great Danes

MP: Great Danes are very intelligent. You know what they were bred for, right?

Me: Playing Chess?

back

• Me: wow this 108 year old survived the Holocaust
• MP: the Holocaust is...what is it...with that guy...
• Me: Germany, Jews, Hitler.
• MP: are they done?

fuck.

listening to MP talk about politics makes me want to stab myself in the face.

Back in Black

I tried being a good girl. I really wanted to do build up some good karma. But this bitch right here. UGH. I love hearing from everyone how she has been calling me a bitch for the past two weeks that I have been trying to be nice. Being nice honestly gets you nowhere.

Mp vs grammar

Boss Man: " did you find out blah blah blah about such and such"

MP: "nope, he don't got one."

Boss Man: "he doesn't have one."

hahahahahahahaha. Even my boss gets in on it.

MP Vacation planning

on phone: "can you give me prices on your carriage rides?"

I wouldn't let her anywhere near a carriage unless she was pulling it.

MP @ the Dr.

A: "what is she doing at the doctor? are they trying to find her brain?"

Myself: "no, she is having trouble swallowing. it is really ruining her social life."