on the phone with MoonPig

I am typing this word for word. Adding the thoughts also that went through my head at the moment.

(to someone that I can only imagine is a moron)

MoonPig: "She always says I am bipolar, but she is bipolar (WTF they are all bipolar). She is also two-faced (samesies). She chose to get out of doing nails. Thank you. Oh, yeah that's Molly. She loves to kick people when they are down. She loves to pass judgement (this is the most self-aware she has ever been!). That's right. Who do you think said something to her? (prob you, MoonPig). Who is Kaley? That's right. She did the same thing to Rachel. The leopard will never change its spots (could only come up with 'the moonpig will never change its snout, sad). When I used to go to her to get my nails done, I really liked her work. She kept digging me for information and unless I feel comfortable with you I won't tell you any of my business (crap..why am I so lucky). She pretends she lives the fairy tale but she doesn't (SHE FUCKING DOES NAILS!). She is a manipulator (you should prob take notes, since you suck at this). MmmmHmmm. Yup. Yup. Who all from there wants to go? LEAH?!? Good. I will be honest with you, I like Stacy, but watch your back with Stacy. Her and Molly are really close. They are one-uppers. (I feel like they are on uppers.) Jessica is still with Shear Madness. Wow, ok. When I get off I'll come help you (LOLOLOL)."